Summary of Breastfeeding Sucks: What to Do When Your Mammaries Make You Miserable by Joanne Kimes

Dive into Kimes' hilarious take on breastfeeding struggles. This survival guide blends humor and honesty for new moms navigating the chaos!

Welcome to the world of Breastfeeding Sucks, where the author, Joanne Kimes, turns the often glorified and Instagrammed journey of breastfeeding into a brutally honest, hilariously relatable experience. If you've ever wished to be part of a support group that hands you a glass of wine instead of a bottle of formula, then this is your book.

So, here's the lowdown: Kimes recognizes that breastfeeding isn't all sunshine and roses. In fact, it's more akin to a horror movie where your trusty mammaries become the antagonists. From the struggles of latching on to the joys of engorgement (yes, that's a real thing!), Kimes holds nothing back. Breastfeeding Sucks takes you through the early days of motherhood, where the only thing thicker than baby poop is the tension in the room when you can't figure out whether your baby is hungry or just using you as a human pacifier.

In her characteristic witty style, Kimes outlines the myriad frustrations of breastfeeding with sections like "What to Do When Your Baby Just Pretends to Be Interested" and "The Milk Dilemma: When Supply Meets Demand (Spoiler: They Don't Always Get Along)." Her honesty is refreshing as she conveys that the "natural" process can feel more unnatural than trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle.

As Kimes dives into practical advice, she discusses pumping-because who doesn't want to feel like a dairy cow? She provides tips on how to manage your time with an infant while still trying to maintain some semblance of a social life, or at least figuring out how to bathe without the kiddo in tow (good luck with that).

It's not just the physical challenges; Breastfeeding Sucks also highlights the emotional rollercoaster that accompanies it. Kimes talks about feeling like a failure because your baby prefers a bottle or when you're physically and mentally drained but still expected to be on your A-game 24/7.

And let's not forget the friends and family commentary! You know the ones who want to offer unsolicited advice? Kimes hilariously dissects their well-meaning yet often misguided suggestions on how to make breastfeeding work-even if that means nursing in the bathroom at your cousin's wedding while trying to maintain a grasp on your dignity.

Throughout the journey, Joanne Kimes manages to blend the serious aspects of breastfeeding with the quirky, absurd reality of being a new mom. Breastfeeding Sucks doesn't shy away from the issues and instead embraces them with open arms-and maybe a little bit of a nervous twitch.

And the best part? No spoilers here because this isn't a mystery novel; it's a survival guide sprinkled with enough humor to make you laugh through the tears. So, if you're looking for a book that might not make you a breastfeeding expert but will certainly remind you that you're not alone in this chaotic journey, grab a copy. Just maybe not while you're trying to actually breastfeed-multitasking is overrated, after all!

Maddie Page

Classics, bestsellers, and guilty pleasures-none are safe from my sarcastic recaps. I turn heavy reads into lighthearted summaries you can actually enjoy. Warning: may cause random outbursts of laughter while pretending to study literature.